Hi, I’m Bree, and I’m a “For the Single Girl…” Bookaholic

Carrie Bradshaw, the eternal “single girl”…until she met “the one”

When I took the plunge into the world of techy-books and bought myself a Kindle, I had the full intention of filling it with brainy literature in the hopes of being able to participate in intellectual repartee with hot nerds. So I stocked my Kindle carousel with Anna KareninaJane Eyre, something by good ole Charlie Dickens, Jane Austen: The Complete Collection, and the biography of Steve Jobs. The first few were recommendations from Penelope and the Steve Jobs bio was Annabelle’s idea. Classy lit in hand, I was ready to read!

Who was I kidding?! Okay…Anna Karenina is about a gagillion pages long. I got as far as the chapter about the farmer dude and then gave up. I was enjoying Jane Eyre until I tried reading it while watching TV and the movie just happened to be on HBO. Michael Fassbender, guys. Need I say more?

Great Expectations did not fulfill my great expectations, and the Jane Austen ones…well, someday I will read all of those, if only in the vain hope that Mr. Darcy will miraculously jump out of the pages of Pride and Prejudice and into my life. However, ladies, it’s called fiction for a reason.

And as for Steve Jobs…rather than reading his bio, I took the time to update my music library on my iPod. I think he’d be proud.

Now just so you know, I do actually read. In fact, I’ve read the last three books I’ve purchased cover to cover – or…uh…the full 100% – in less than a week! What were they? The Single Woman’s Sassy Survival Guide to Letting Go and Moving On, He’s Just Not That Into You, and Always Hit on the Wingman…and 9 Other Secret Rules for Getting the Love Life You Want. It is my firm belief that these picks will serve me far better in the long run than those dusty ole classics. Or at least I think they will. Hope they will. Okay, I’m praying that they will!

So far I’ve learned quite a bit about myself and my species of women, and even a bit about all those fine gentlemen out there! (They do exist ladies, I swear!) According to Greg Behrendt, the male voice and author of He’s Just Not That Into You, men aren’t as complicated as we think! What a relief, right?! Umm….

His main point is this: If a guy is really into us, there will be no question in our minds whether or not he is. Because we’ll know. He says if guys want something they go after it, and they make it clear that they want it. In other words, if a guy is into us, he’s asking us out; he’s calling us; he’s continuously dating us; he’s not seeing other people; and my personal favorite, he won’t disappear on us. As in, he won’t all of a sudden stop talking to us and drop off the face of the earth. Don’t call the po po and file a missing person’s report, ladies! “He’s just not that into you!”

Yes, it’s harsh, but Greg likes to think of his honest (and admittedly painful) advice as incentive to drop the guys that don’t appreciate how fabulous we are and make room in our lives for the ones that will! It totally and utterly sucks realizing that the guy we like (and may or may not have created romantic happily-ever-after fantasies in our minds about) aren’t into us as much as we are into them, but here’s what I’ve realized: You can’t make someone like you and spending all your time trying to persuade them to like you isn’t going to make the relationship any better. Someday there’s going to be that person who you won’t have to try with at all because they’ll have absolutely no problem falling for you.

…Are you finished throwing up yet?

But honestly, how can we get over all our horrifying, self-esteem crushing, heartbreakingly painful, failed relationships without the promise (or at least the hope) that something better…something perfect for us…is out there?

Until we find that so-called knight in shining armor, or that knight in a pair of Sperry Top-Siders…or jeans and construction boots…or sneaks and sweats…or whatever gets your heart racing (for me it’s any guy with a skate/snowboard) Glamour magazine’s dating columnist “Jake,” author of Always Hit on the Wingman, has some advice. No matter how many heartbreaks you’ve had or how many jerks you’ve dated, go into each new potential relationship with an open mind. He warns that “by expecting the worst from men, by walking into a new relationship with defenses up and fists bared instead of treating men like individuals worth getting to know,” women are only “self-sabotaging” themselves, because the world of dating is “a mysterious, beautiful, sometimes mazelike wilderness, and exploring it is one of life’s most awesome trips” (Jake, Rule #9).

My favorite thing about these two books and why I adore the men that wrote them is the fact that although they may dish out some ugly truths, their sole goal is to make their female audience feel good about themselves. Every blow is immediately followed with a “don’t sweat it cause you’re awesome” pick-me-up, or at least a humorous quip to boost our spirits. Aww, thanks, guys!

And if their soul-damaging-then-immediately-repairing words don’t do the trick, then I highly recommend The Single Woman’s Sassy Survival Guide to Letting Go and Moving On. Honestly, if I could shrink down the fabulous author of this book, Mandy Hale, and carry her around in my pocket all day as my own personal cheerleader, I would! This book is bomb when it comes to making you feel good about yourself. Mandy takes you through the “what, why, when, who, and how”s of letting go and moving on and by the end you’re left convinced that your recent breakup was the best thing that ever happened to you! It’s not a big middle finger to your last guy (though if he deserves it you can toss him one of those), but a big middle finger to all those negative, horrible feelings that have been holding you back and preventing you from reaching happiness. It may sound totally and cringe-worthing-ly corny, but believe me, this book is fab.

And remember, so are you!

Ah jeezus, these books have taken full control. I am now Bree Davis, leader of the women-lovers! Hear me roarrrr!