Man Oh Man, I Love Smelling Like a Man!
Today I made the wise decision to quit my temporary role as Sasquatch and shave my legs. Until I can afford God’s gift, a brilliant little invention called laser hair removal, I must perform my womanly duty of weekly (okay, daily) shaving. Well, since I must do this in order to preserve my feminine qualities, I may as well enjoy it…and by golly I’ll enjoy it like a man!
Now before you think I’ve gone all Albert Nobbs on you, let me explain.
You know those Axe commercials where the guy douses himself with Axe spray and all of a sudden a throng of girls go hog wild on him and attack? Why do you think that is? It’s obvious isn’t it?! Because they love how the guy smells! Now, personally, I do not like the smell of Axe, but I’ll play along and act like it stimulates arousal rather than stimulating my gag reflex. The point is, girls are attracted to men when men smell like men. Just to be clear, I’m not talking about a I-love-the-smell-of-your-sweaty-gym-shorts kind of attraction. I’m talking the kind of attraction that happens when you smell a guy’s (subtle) aftershave, or a whiff of his sexy-scented cologne and you can’t help but want to permanently stick your nostrils to his body. When the man scent is done right, it’s the greatest thing on earth – not to mention the biggest turn on.
If I told you that I’m constantly around the smell of man because I have a gorgeous, perfectly metro-sexual boyfriend who has excellent taste in designer cologne, would you believe me? Thought so. The truth is, I’m constantly around the smell of man because I’ve filled my bathroom, shower, and fragrance collection with male products.
This brings be back to the bit about losing my essence of Sasquatch. I prefer using Barbasol Thick & Rich Shaving Cream because a. it’s cheaper than any of those fancy female shaving creams, b. it lathers like no other, and c. it smells so freakin’ good! I just bought the new Barbasol Thick & Rich Shaving Cream in the Sensitive Skin formula and, thinking I had turned into a sexy man, had to resist the urge to want to shave my beard. This shaving cream is made for a man, but should definitely be enjoyed by a woman.
Now on to men’s cologne. I am obsessed with Marc Jacobs Men Eau de Toilette Spray. It has notes of Italian bergamot, some yummy-smelling spices, a pinch of musk, tonka bean, and cedarwood. To me it smells like a male model at the beach. Mmmm. I have a small sample of it and although I love love love the smell, I don’t wear it all the time. That way, when I do, it’s like a little treat to myself.
My other favorite male fragrance is Versace’s Versace Man Eau Fraiche. Its notes include lemon, tarragon, cedar leaves, sage, musk, amber, and wood, so it has more of a citrusy scent to it. It’s crisp and clean, like a gorgeous man who just showered and did his laundry. Heavenly.
Every once and a while the word “unisex” gets thrown onto the label of a beauty product. I remember thinking this word was dirty when I was little because it had the word “sex” in it. When I was in elementary school I refused to get my haircut at the neighborhood Unisex Salon because I was too embarrassed to be seen in a place that used this word in its name. In fact, I steered clear of anything that sounded even remotely sexual after being scolded at 10-years-old by my mom for skipping around the house singing Madonna’s “Like a Virgin.”
Although I eventually learned what the term “unisex” actually meant, I’m still not a fan. I don’t want to buy unisex fragrances or use unisex products. I want the real deal! If I love the smell of a man’s cologne, I’m gonna buy the men’s cologne! I’ve learned from years of reading beauty magazines that fragrance smells different on different people, and I like to think that I bring a bit of my womanly essence to the male-scented products that I use. I think it’s sexy, and dare I say it…ballsy!