Miley Cyrus is ENGAGED! What the what?!

The future Mr. and Mrs.

Okay, Miley, I get it. If Liam Hemsworth was my boyfriend…well, actually, if Liam Hemsworth was even remotely interested in me…I’d be trying to lock that down, too. He gorgeous. He’s Australian. He has really good family genes. And he’s fricken GALE for cripes sake!

In other words, Miley, I totesunderstand why you’d want to get a ring on it, especially if that ring was coming from Liam Hemsworth…and apparently Neil Lane (custom made, of course). I’m happy for you! Well done, girl! You’ve scored the golden ticket! A chance at a happily ever after! You’ll get to wear a gorgeous, this-lace-costs-more-than-your-house wedding dress and probably honeymoon with kangaroos in your man’s native land!

The 3.5 carat/18 karat gold ring Liam had custom made for his bride to be…sweet jeezus


Now can we get real for a second? What the heehaw is going on?!

Today I found out that a boy I went to high school with got married last weekend. He’s 22. His wife (whaaaat) is still in college. My best girlfriend, who also just graduated college, is talking the oh-so-serious “move in” business with her boyfriend, and her boyfriend’s mom has already uttered the phrase, “I can’t wait to see you in a wedding dress!” to her over the phone. If someone I know gets pregnant, I swear…

I’m not ready to attend the wedding of someone whose prom was the most recent “dressy” event they’ve been to! I’m not ready to start accepting the “married” status on Facebook as meaning anything other than a girl jokingly labeling her gay best friend as her husband! I’m not ready to start browsing BabyGap! It’s too soon! It’s all too soon!

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are young and in love, and how can I hate on them for that? I envy them! They are blissfully happy, and that’s amazing! But the idea of getting married before being able to legally drink just blows my mind! Will champagne even be able to be served at the reception?!

It’s hard to believe that Hannah Montana is becoming a Mrs. Can you imagine?! Her something old will be a Backstreet Boys CD. Her something new? Her high school diploma. Something borrowed? Well, time to give back that purity ring! And all of us youngins who now feel like old single spinsters after hearing this news, well…I guess we can be her something blue.