Important Lady Life Lesson: How to Tie a Tie
There are moments when I absolutely relish being a girl:
-When I get an enormous lurking lurker (the less cringe-worthy name for “zit”) and I have the right (and moral obligation…I don’t want to scare people, after all) to use massive amounts of makeup in every form of concealer – liquid followed by cream followed by powder – to cover the beast.
-When I step into a Sephora (cue heavenly chimes).
-When a new romantic comedy comes out and I know I won’t get judged for 1. going, 2. wanting to go, and 3. crying more than three times during the viewing of it.
-When I can brag about having things in common with Beyoncé…even if it’s just one thing…and that one thing being that, like the flawless and boundlessly talented diva, I, too, am also a female.
However, believe it or not, there are moments when I get a little jelly of the male species – the top moment being one that occurs once a month, lasts 7 days, and has women everywhere consuming enough chocolate to create an international food shortage at Hershey’s.
A close second is the fact that men get to wear ties.
Now I know what you’re thinking – Girls can wear ties, too! The menswear-inspired trend is so hot right now! And you’re right, my little fashion mavens! But have you ever walked into your favorite clothing store and seen a women’s section labeled “Ties”? Men have this special section! I want this special section…only because I know our ties would just be so stinkin’ pretty!
But, alas, I’ve accepted the fact that ties are meant for guys (it lessens the blow when I can make it rhyme). And although they may not be made for us, I believe that along with knowing how to change a spare tire, knowing how to tie a tie is one of the most important things a sophisticated woman should know. After all, as Carrie Bradshaw once quipped, “Why is it that putting a tie around a man’s neck is sometimes even sexier than taking it off?”
Thankfully, tie designer and connoisseur, Alexander Olch, is here to show us how it’s done. I must admit, before viewing this video, my attempts at tying a tie often resulted in stranglement rather than a perfect knot. But those days are over! Here it is ladies, a step-by-step guide on how to tie a tie (featuring a gorgeous model who makes a female mustache look sexy. But word to the wise…do not let your hairy upper lip grow and expandeth, ladies. A lady mustache is never in style. The glasses on the other hand? A definite do!).