The #1 Reason to Watch the 2012 Olympics

Ryan Lochte, Olympic God

Me: Umm…yeah, hi. My name is Bree Davis and I’d like to book a one-way ticket to London, please? 

OPERATOR: Okay, Miss. Are you sure you won’t be needing a round-trip ticket?

Me: Nope!

OPERATOR: And your reason for traveling, Miss?

Me: I’m going to find Ryan Lochte and marry him.

Yes, that’s right, everyone! I am engaged to Ryan Lochte, also known as the most gorgeous Olympic swimmer ever to bless waters. Technically, I have to meet him first, but I’m sure once I get to London he’ll be easy to find. I’ll just locate the giant Olympic swimming event arena/stadium/pool thingy, jump in the water, pretend that I’m drowning, and then Ryan will be forced to come to my rescue! See? BRILLIANT plan! 

Now, although he’s already promised to me, ladies, you’re still free to look…


…okay that’s enough. Perfect, isn’t he? The 28-year-old American swimmer is a six-time Olympic medalist, and come this summer’s Olympics in London, he’ll be the number one reason I’ll be tuning in. Michael Phelps may be the most talked-about Olympian when it comes to swimming, but Ryan Lochte’s the one that’ll really be heating up the water! His 6 foot 2 frame, 1000-pack abs, luscious brown locks, and those beautiful baby blues could melt the Arctic, and the fact that he’s an unbelievably talented athlete? SOLD! Oohh, he’s going to look SO gorgey porgey in his little Ralph Lauren ensemble! And then there’s the Speedo…

Gawd, I love the Olympics.