Why Redheads Should Get Dibs on Turquoise

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Christina Hendricks

Redheads have it rough. Oh sure, blondes have to put up with all the dumb-blonde jokes and brunettes are constantly trying to prove that they indeed can have just as much fun as the golden-locked girlies, but redheads? Well, I’m no redhead, but if I were, I would have just about had it up to HERE.

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Jessica Chastain

Grievance #1: Redheads are told they can’t wear red. What a horrible thing to tell someone! The redhead rule-makers really went for the jugular on this one. Can’t wear red?! The number one color, through psychological studies, shown to drive the opposite sex crazy with desire?! The color which shares its name with undoubtedly the coolest character from the ultimate classic game, Clue? (Who didn’t want to be Miss Scarlet, in the library, with the candlestick?) It’s not fair! And FYI, you CAN wear red. The rest of us are just worried that you’ll look so stunningly hot you’ll burst into flames!

Grievance #2: Being called a “ginger.” According to Urban Dictionary, being called a “ginger” is an insult in our society! Redheads are made fun of – laughed at! I don’t get it! When did “ginger” start becoming a bad thing? Some of the best things in life are ginger-related! Ginger ale, gingerbread, Ginger Rogers… If I were a redhead, I’d take comfort in knowing that I belong to the same group as the brilliant Ronald Weasley, the gorgey Prince Harry, or the coolest chick to ever get her own TV show on Nickelodeon! (As Told By Gingerbest show EVER.)

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Julianne Moore

Grievance #3: Redheads are going extinct! National Geographic confirmed it, my friends. Redheads won’t be around in 100 years. They have officially been added to the Endangered Species list. What kind of sucky luck is that?!

Redheads seem to always get the crap end of the follicle, so I’ve decided to gift them the color turquoise. Why? Because redheads wear it best. The color was made for them. Whether it’s a pair of earrings, as seen on the gorgeous Jessica Chastain, an elegant gown worn by Julianne Moore, or a lovely little cardigan rocked by Miss Christina Hendricks. The color pops, giving an amazing glow to whatever fiery-locked-porcelain-skinned goddess wearing it.

So take it, my redheaded friends! Turquoise is yours! Wear it…own it! No chance you’re ever going extinct. You’re much too fabulous!